A Sexy State of Mind


My mirror usually tells the truth. I have some cellulite, tiger stripes smack dab on both cheeks, imperfect skin from head to toe, and a lower pooch that I can’t seem to get rid of. Oh well! I am not an airbrushed supermodel. However, this does not interfere with me occasionally having a sexy state of mind.

Not so sexy days. Are there occasions I would love to have the perfect body? Absolutely. Are there some days when I think a guy will find fault with me in all my naked glory? Yep. Are there days when sexy and beautiful are not the words that come to mind? Unfortunately.  I do become conscious of my body whether I should be or not. It is hard to be unaffected when images of perfection is shown on every medium. So, yes I do have those not so sexy days when a burlap sack and slouchy hat over my hot-mess hair would be the clothing of choice. This is normal, I think, because those are the days when you just want to look like crap and don’t give a shit.

Oh so sexy days. There are those days when none of the above applies. Instead, I see past the imperfections and recognize that my consistent cardio and resistant training shows its results. There are days when I can appreciate that my legs dominate my body and my thighs do touch (gasp). There are days when I think I look darn good and down right sexy. Unfortunately, so many women seem to forget what it feels like to see themselves as sexy. They are waiting for a man to validate their image. However, I call BS because sexiness is about how you see yourself and how you feel  in your skin. I challenge you to put on a pair of lace undies, or an article of clothing that makes you look in the mirror and say “umm, I like the way you look.” When you discover your inner sexy, it will show.

Single vs married sexy days. Single women who are on the market are typically more conscious of the importance of feeling and looking sexy. There are not many single men who are looking for frumpy and lumps of coals. So, you are more likely to find single women who cycle between their sexy and non-sexy days.

For most women, they do put in the time to care for themselves or at least look decent. On the other hand, a number of married women tend to let themselves go the longer they are married. Yes! Yes! You can give the excuse of children bla bla bla; however, it does not change the fact that some do look quite shabby. Because women tend to compare themselves to others, this is a slippery slope with self-image and desirability issues. Bring back the lingerie, crotch less underwear, knee-high boots, and red lipstick that was left in the ‘back when I was single’ box.

Sexy vs slutty. Ladies, there is a difference between both. As a Christian woman, it is not rocket science to know when your outfit says ‘I walk the street at night and wants the attention of anyone.’ A sexy woman knows how to accentuate (not show her goods to the world), flatter her body type or assets, and still grab the attention of an appropriate suitor or your spouse. My suggestion – Christian married women can leave the slutty look for the bedroom.

You are sexy and you don’t know it. Women are hard on themselves much more than men when it comes our bodies. We find fault with everything and nitpick at the minor stuff and become overly focused on the imperfect. Sexiness is a state of mind that transfers to the thought, mood and body. Sexiness is in your confidence, attitude, playfulness, laugh as well as how you carry yourself – think body posture. Do not think that sexiness is only about tight clothing, high heels and a flawless makeup. A woman who feels good on the inside shows it on the outside. Just ask any man.

Men and self-image/self-esteem. Chiseled abs and romance novel good looks are not the only signs of sexy when it comes to men. Many women are less preoccupied with men’s body type. Do some of us gawk at the firefighter’s calendar? Guilty. However, that is just temporary entertainment. For many women, a sexy man shows confidence, what’s in his head, how he treats others and how he puts himself together – like tight cut-off muscle shirts and speedos (ha ha just joking). Men do have issues with self-image and self-esteem and women need to be mindful about being critical. Most men want to appear strong, confident, competent, useful and be able to provide support to the women in their lives which are things most women find sexy. For almost all women, a man who cleans up well will make any woman’s mouth water. Men, find your inner sexy, we do pay attention.

Each person has a different idea of sexy. However, how you view your body makes a world of difference. It is easy to point to someone else and say that person can claim sexiness but not you. When you describe yourself as sexy, you are forcing yourself to see a positive body image and get in touch with your sexual identity. So, the moral of the story is that seeing yourself as sexy is a healthy state of mind.



2 thoughts on “A Sexy State of Mind

  1. What is “sexy”? I don’t feel like I have a “sexy” bone in my body, and have never considered myself “sexy”. The older I get, the less “sexy” I feel. More power to you if you can get some kind of “sexy-feeling”.



    1. Steve, lol I am sure your exs would disagree when the relationship was going well. Sexy is how good you feel about yourself or even how attractive you view yourself physically or otherwise. No one feels sexy 24/7 but there are moments when you do.


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