Beauty or Average


On a scale of 1-10 where would you rate yourself in the beauty department?  I will answer truthfully, on a good day I would say 5; however, on a bad day I would say 4. I am not the only woman who is very aware of the subjective beauty rating scale. I am not the only woman who would consistently rate herself low in comparison to what other’s think.

Women are constantly measured by their looks and this has been since the dawn of time. The Bible also points out women’s beauty attribute on numerous occasions.  David sinned egregiously because he saw a beautiful woman and fell in lust. Do you think the story would have been different if Bathsheba was considered average or ugly? The women who are considered beautiful receive more attention-wanted or unwanted, special treatment and most people think of them more favorably. Society has taught women to value their beauty more than anything else so women quickly learn that if they are a 8-10 on the beauty scale, it means a lot.  Reality test: If you want to see a woman smile instantly, then tell her she is beautiful.

Beauty and self-esteem

It is a mistake to think that self-esteem is related to beauty. The so called ugly or average woman can be more self-assured than the so called beautiful woman. Self-esteem is about intrinsic value and confidence which does not come from outer appearance. The woman who recognizes that she has more to offer than her beauty or lack of is the woman who has a better chance of navigating the daily social pressures without feeling weighed down by society’s opinions.

Beauty in the eyes of the beholder

It would be silly to say that all women carry the same aesthetic weight. There are women who are obviously more visually pleasing than others according to the beauty norms of your society or micro society. The prettiest girl in high school may not be the prettiest girl in college. One person’s 8-10 may be another person’s 5-7. This is all according to individual preferences.

For women, the value of beauty is very important when it comes to men or specifically capturing the eyes of the men they admire. For the women who want to be married or be in a relationship, their best strategy to snag a guy or at least have some options is to put their best faces forward. The beauty routine can range from something as simple as groomed eye brows to full face, sometimes unrecognizable, transforming makeup. If you slap lipstick on a pig, it may still be a pig but a prettier pig. The idea is to look as flawless and gorgeous as possible in order to capture the eyes of the beholder.

Beauty is fleeting

Someone once said that ‘a man can get tired of even the most beautiful woman.’ This is true because beauty is meant to pull a man in but it will not keep him – actually it will not keep anyone around. Having meaningful relationships with others is not about beauty but personality. No matter where you fall on the beauty scale, 4 or 9, it all comes down to your character and traits and what you have in common with others. The best relationships that last through sickness, changing appearance and aging are forged from what’s within. ‘I am in love with your beauty’ says no one who is looking for true connection.

The saying is that ugly or average girls should develop their brains and charming personalities because those will be their best assets. Actually, when you strip away the shallow, those are the greatest and very important assets for all women. Take for instance, we all will marvel (to ourselves) at the woman whose face was disfigured by an accident but still manages to find someone (not considered ugly)  who loves and marries her. Silly men will drool over a ‘hot felon’ while ignoring the felon part. Elizabeth Taylor still held an high appeal to the point she was married numerous times. When we focus so much on beauty, we tend to miss the important details that truly makes a person

Inner Beauty Cliché

Yes, the world will always favour the aesthetically pleasing woman over the ugly or average. Yes, women will constantly define themselves by how they think they rate on the imaginary beauty scale. Yes, a beautiful woman will get more attention. These are things we cannot change in this world; however, this is not a complete definition of a woman’s beauty. A person’s inner beauty is what defines and distinguish ugly from gorgeous.

When the internet proclaimed Lizzie Valesquez as the ugliest woman in the world due to a disorder, people worldwide began to judge and make fun of her due to her appearance. What most people did not take into account is that this young lady had inner beauty which began to outshine her ‘ugly’ appearance once she found the courage to fight back. As people start to distinguish the physical from the inner, then suddenly, she began receiving comments with words like ‘beautiful’ ‘wonderful’ ‘amazing.’ I am sure that if we did a social experiment to rate her on the beauty scale prior to her speaking out, she would be very low but after people saw her inner beauty that number would increase.

As women struggle with themselves on their perception of physical beauty, they fail to take into consideration the strong power of inner beauty. We become so focused on that arbitrary beauty scale number that it can inhibit us from developing and expressing the beauty that matters. The next time you look in the mirror and rate yourself a low number (which we all do), walk away from the mirror and ask yourself what else do you have to offer to the people in your life? If you can positively answer that question, then you are the most beautiful person in the eyes of the beholder – YOU!





4 thoughts on “Beauty or Average

  1. This is a great article. I can truly relate. Growing up I was so concerned about my appearance. I didn’t like my height, I was too tall, and I thought I was too skinny. Even today, I have moments where I have to tell myself that I am beautiful and I need to stop worrying so much about outward things and let God make me beautiful within. Thank you so much for sharing this article.


  2. For my age, I’m an 8 when I put forth an effort to look good, maybe a 6/7 most other times. I was a pretty solid 8 (not controlled for age) when I was 18. Probably a 7 now that I’m (hard to believe) 32. I’m on the way down hill, that’s what happens to all women. Men actually get better looking until maybe 45 or 50, then start going downhill. I’m happy with my looks. I get attention from guys, but not so much that I can’t tell if they really like the whole me or just think I’m good looking and it’s all lust. When you are in high school, it’s all about who has the right curves, but as you age, it is a LOT about exercising and keeping the excess pounds off. Obviously, clear skin, clean hair, and neat and properly fitting clothes go a long way. Certain styles don’t flatter me, so I avoid them. And yes, I can tell sometimes that I have an easier time negotiating the day than a guy or an overweight woman has, like when I had a flat tire and at least 10 men — from 16 to 60 — offered to help me.

    While there is such a thing as inner beauty, I will admit that a lot of people don’t care to find out. They judge the book by its cover, and often suffer the consequences. I will say there is a downside to being attractive. Men often don’t care to hear my thoughtful input on a topic; married women don’t like me having any manner of conversation with their husbands (not even at church); and my peers who consider themselves to be not so attractive will often block me out of social circles; when I was younger, I was the target of malicious gossip.

    Finally, I find that a lot of women think less of their appearance than they ought to. Many attractive women have a negative self-image, and that impacts them in subtle, yet real ways. For every big nose, set of small breasts, freckle-ladened face, or hair that never does what you want it to do, there is a man who likes women with big noses, small breasts, freckles, and wild hair (and sometimes all four). Just because Shallow Hal doesn’t like some aspect of your body, don’t let that get you down; you really don’t want a date with Hal (I’ve been out with Hal, it’s not a pleasant experience).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Natalie, being perceived as beautiful can have its downsides – jealousy, people thinking you are not smart, and being negatively judged.

      I do agree that some people see the outside first and that’s is the extent of their interest but the people who value you will want more -inner beauty- in order to stick around.

      I may not see myself higher than a 5 (even if someone else would rate higher) but that does not affect my confidence in most things or my intelligence. My philosophy is Be true to yourself, and the right people will love you as is.


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