Surely, you have heard the phrase ‘die from a broken heart.’ It is easy to scoff at that saying as being ridiculous but think about an old couple who die within minutes of each other. The emotions significantly affect the physical.
In the new testament, Jesus and his disciples would go on about love and its importance in our lives and the relationship with God. If you think about it, love or lack of it has a significant effect whether we acknowledge it or not.
With Love: It is the foundation for a happy childhood. ‘We may have been poor but we loved each other.’
Without Love: Bitterness sets in and the child who becomes an adult (but still holds on to the emotionally starved inner child) will always be searching for the love that wasn’t
With Love: It is the foundation of a contented relationship. ‘We went through some hard times but we made it through because we loved each other’
Without Love: A relationship is prone to fights and discord. The couple only knows obligation. Who wants to spend the rest of their lives with someone out of duty?
With Love: A grieving husband ‘She was the love of my life’
Without Love: A relief and burden lifted
With Love: Blood family or friends-family have a closer bond and provide support to each other.
Without Love: Distrust, pain, hurt and loneliness
There is something inherently magical about being loved. It changes you for the better. It inspires you to do better for self and others. When love dies, you die inside. There are very few people in this world who can live contentedly with emotional isolation but for the rest of the population, we are driven to find that love in any place we can.
That drive to feel something so powerful and fulfilling pushes people to look for that connection anywhere they think it might exist to include empty medium like the internet and from people who can’t give it.
If you have ever felt loved or give love, then you understand its overwhelming power and the impact in your life. It is the treasure you know is very valuable and you want to hold on to it forever. There is nothing like it.
Real love is always transforming for the better
Make no mistake, there is imitation love. The fake that makes you feel bad, produces self-doubt, lying, hiding, secrets, demanding, emotionally, psychologically or physically painful. Imitation love will eventually hurt: self and other. The further you are from the fake, the better you feel and think. Imitation love is unhealthy no matter how many ways you try to explain it. You always have to give excuses for imitation love.
When most people think about the love that they would die for, they think romantic love – the twisted Romeo and Juliet nonsense. True romantic love is just one version. The love between parent and child; love between siblings; friends who have stuck by you and family who lift you up and tell you the truth are strong enough to heal many emotional wounds. Unfortunately, so many never experience either of these and struggle to form bonds with others – we start to die emotionally.
If finding love was so easy, there would not be so many who are the emotional walking dead/damaged. The one thing that is so important and free is the hardest to come by. People turn to religion, material things, self-destruction or addiction as replacements. Sure, God is love and the author of love but God is not here to physically wipe your tears, hug you, or say kind words to you. God’s love is also one version of love.
Do I have a solution? I wish. I wish I had the answers for the emotionally dying, emotionally damaged, emotionally struggling. I tell my patients that some of the best things in life does not always come easy but it does not mean you give up and die.