We love to play the victim or the martyr because it makes for a good story. Greek tragedies, sappy love songs and everything country music (LOL) are odes to the victim mentality. Face it! We love to hang on to the wrongs and the depressing things that happen in our lives. I am speaking from experience.
However, while it is helpful to go through our period of mourning, anger and hurt, at some point, you have to say enough is enough! Get yourself together and move on. Easier said than done – yeah I know.
There are some personality types that tend to stay in the victim and depressing mode longer than others. There are the overly empathic who feel everyone’s pain, the poor me type who loves the attention and there are the obsessed ones who have to have a final clear answer for everything. I identify as the obsessed type – I always need a good solid answer.
Sometimes, we will never get an answer or at least a clear answer. Life happens and it presence as a challenge for us to master instead of to dwell on and other times, we just have to let things go because holding on is damaging.
Life can become very bumpy and we have to know when to get off the ride before we are trampled emotionally and psychologically. Life is also about learning and it helps to take some lessons from your not-so-nice experiences and parlay them into something useful for yourself.
But oh no! We don’t take the sensible road to health and wellness. Like a cartoon character, we often stand in front of the train and allow it to run over us again and again and then we start the emotional beat down. Does that sound familiar?
When do you stop and say this is getting old and tired? After you have been so defeated that there is no energy left? After 2-4 years in therapy? After crying your eyes out every night for heaven knows how long? Punching a wall one too many times? Being continually sad, mopey or angry? When is enough enough?
Seriously, when is it enough? You have to set your boundaries or timeline. It does not magically happen. Even Jesus had a timeline and he had the fate of the world in his hands. He also had Satan trying to block him at every turn to derail his life. Jesus faced it no matter how hard and worked through it and moved pass it.
We wallow in it! We let it become such a barrier it stops us from moving, being, and doing. We stop growing and start dying. I have decided – intentionally, consciously, repeatedly, fervently – to let my most recent struggle go. The moment came when I chose to wake up and accept that this burden was not worth it anymore. No, I didn’t get a clear answer. No, I cannot change the past. However, it is time to move again and embrace wellness of my mind, spirit and heart. Easier said than done, YES, a million Yes’ but you have to get started somewhere.
What is or was your story in saying enough is enough?