I might be a little scattered with this blog but walk with me.
I woke up this morning feeling energized for the rainy and overcast day. I had plans to go watch How to Train a Dragon but the weather nixed that idea. (Yes, I do still watch kiddies animation movies with adult themes. It’s a nice escape).
I caught up on the news only to see that an Ethiopian Airlines plane had crashed and all passengers were loss. They interviewed a person who was waiting for his family member’s arrival and it all hit me (again).
Every time there is an unexpected death, my first thoughts always drift to the one undeniable fact that death comes like a “thief in the night” with no warning; however, I still continue to fret about insignificant things.
I looked around at my stuff (which I have been downsizing for the last few years) and thought that everything is disposable – except for my photo albums and my bank information – but everything else is just Goodwill or trash eligible.
My life is not the sum of things but the sum of experiences and interactions with others
Waiting For What?
As a single, people keep telling you to wait for this or that – but in reality you are just wasting time instead of enjoying it. As I was writing this, I thought of my BFF (I also texted her my thoughts as well).
She had been one of those women who wanted marriage and family. It finally came in her late 30s. However, instead of enjoying married life, she is so much more driven and busy building a wealthy future for herself, spouse and future children that their 2nd anniversary came and went without much fanfare.
She waited and her prayers and desire for marriage came but she is still looking to the future and waiting for that perfect time in her life when everything has fallen into place to enjoy what she has now.
The thing is every person on that plane had a plan of what they were going to do when they arrived at their destination. They all had future plans and like the average person, they were probably putting things off for the not-so-guaranteed future which did not arrive.
Why are you so comfortable with waiting but hesitant in accepting your here and now blessings? Why is everything in the future and nothing is now?
Holding The Past
One of the other things that plane crash brought to mind is how much we hold on to the fog of the past which keeps us stuck in the present.
I was reading a blog entry by CJ Porter, entitled Poor Choices and he said something that resonated with me. “Clarity returned. The positive outlook revived.”
In my last blog post, I talked about being in a fog due to ruminating about stuff to include an issue from the past. I was holding on to a difficult situation that I should have wrapped up a long time ago. I kept dragging the past into the future like a rusty ball and chain. Once the reality hit and the moment I had clarity, my positive outlook came back, my fog was lifted and I could see myself moving forward again.
I was no long stuck mentally and emotionally which made me capable of enjoying my here and now. The thing is we make mistakes and poor choices but as we hold on to them for dear life, we are blinded to see the opportunities that are available now while keep hoping that things will be better in the future.
Well, the future keeps showing up each day and we keep putting things off to a distant future. Years later, you look back to lament that you passed every open door in the life you were living in that moment.
For the Christians and religious people:
If you take a look at Jesus’ life, you and he already knew he had 33 years to do his business. However, if you read the Bible carefully, you will notice Jesus was a traveller. He attended weddings (Cana), he attended social gatherings with his disciplines, he met lots of people, and he took breaks (there were times he tried to find a quiet moment but people found him and wanted him to preach).
For Jesus, each day was an opportunity which he never allowed to pass him by. However, we spend our time constantly looking to a distant future (as if it’s promised) to find fulfillment.
What is so scary about living the life you have now?
What is so unnerving about changing the life you have now if you don’t like it?
Why do you wait for the ideal “future” to make plans to enjoy life but wallow in the unpleasant every day?