Photo: Pixabay.com; Artist: DieterRobbins As much as being single has its many positive sides, there are those moments when a single person could use a partner to help. As the rain beats down outside making a sweet lullaby, I am in bed writhing in pain. Okay, maybe writhing is a bit strong but nevertheless I … Continue reading Being Your Own Nurse – Single Life
Photo credit: Pixabay.com; Artist: sasint Dear Married People, These are a few thoughts from your single friends who are not miserable. Let me be free to live the life I have chosen. Let me do what’s in my best interest. Sometimes, some of us were in a crappy situation and now are happy to just … Continue reading Dear Married People
Everyone walks around with some form of a mask. However, there are those whose deep core was damaged severely. This makes it hard for them to truly love someone or accept love. No matter how much you show that you are in their corner, they never allow themselves to trust you completely. Photo credit: Pixabay.com; … Continue reading Too Damaged for Love
Photo by Giftpundits.com on Pexels.com Our warped ego tells us that we are the best thing since gluten-free whole wheat slice bread. We are the heart-healthy gift to everyone. Wait for it... No, we are not! When the emotionally wounded retell their country-music-broken-heart-sad stories, they are the victims of a selfish ogre, the precious peach … Continue reading Sorry, I Am Not Your Blessing
Photo credit: Pixabay.com; Artist: pixel2013 I saw a video circulating a while ago of a pastor and his wife preaching. He was admitting to the congregation his wrong doings with a woman. Actually, he was skirting around the issue of accepting responsibility. He pretty much blamed the kitchen sink. His wife took the microphone and … Continue reading Emotional Affairs – What’s the Big Deal
I might be a little scattered with this blog but walk with me. I woke up this morning feeling energized for the rainy and overcast day. I had plans to go watch How to Train a Dragon but the weather nixed that idea. (Yes, I do still watch kiddies animation movies with adult themes. It's … Continue reading A Plane Crashed
Recently, I found myself very angry. Red hot poker angry at someone. I was at home stewing and marinating on why 'you' made me angry. After hours, sleep and more ruminating, I could not stop feeling all these emotions - betrayed, disappointment, used etc. I felt so justified. I felt like a victim. Right before … Continue reading Boundaries – Disappointing Self
On my Instagram, I wrote the following meme: This was in reaction to the message I kept seeing that said (paraphrase) you can still have a very close friendship when you catch up with each other every month or every few months and it will be like you haven't missed a thing. Two of my … Continue reading Quality Time: Role of Friends
Photo credit: Pixabay.com; Artist: Concord90 Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovers or people who will be trying to fill their mandatory romance quota for the year - from yours truly, a terminally single woman V-day had never packed much fanfare for me. I am not sure why it never really caught on. I guess … Continue reading V-Day
I posted the poem below on my Poems and Short Story blog but I thought I would reblog it here to talk about a few things.
1. For men, giving their bodies in sex or sexual related activities does not always have the same deep meaning as it does to women.
2. For women, if we haven’t given ourselves to someone who is the right guy, in the right relationship, for the right reasons, then we feel shame and can struggle with guilt.
3. Christianity emphasizes the idea of virginity and ‘purity’ for women but not at all for men. There are not many men who feel the need to become a born-again virgin because their sexual history is praised but for women it is the opposite. We have to constantly atone for our sexual behaviors.
4. As women, we do have to be mindful of our sexual behavior because it affects our self-image and self-esteem due to society’s pressure and views of women and sex. A guy can be a stud with many women but a woman is a slut with less than a handful of partners.
5. Women are taught that sex should always be coupled with marriage or a long term relationship and love. Men are told that sex is an important part of their masculinity and a needed commodity so, they should strive for it from women whether there is an emotional connection or not.
6. The messages about men and women’s bodies and sex are the polar opposite. While for men, the act is something to be proud of because it gives experience, but for women, its shameful because we are too free and we are not showing respect for ourselves.
7. The Bible is a Christian’s playbook and there is no disputing that it frowns upon sex before marriage. If we all followed that guideline, then everyone’s first sexual experience would be after the “I do” and then you figure out the mechanics from there.
8. However, that is not always the case for the majority. For women, the rules will always be more strict, whether we like it or not, we have internalized those rules and we still have to be mindful because sex for us is tightly linked to our emotions.
My body is a wonderland
not given to any man freely
It wasn’t made for high speed traffic
periodic or random visits
nor a ride at Disneyland
designed for your selfish pleasure
It was meant to be handled delicately
like the rarest treasure discovered
Peel away the layers
it houses the heart of its existence
more priceless than any metal
Pardon my foolish oversight
in letting down my boundaries
It’s all back in good order
If you want full exclusive access
then prove you can pay the price in full
with all that God intended