Photo credit: Pixabay.com; Artist: pixel2013 I saw a video circulating a while ago of a pastor and his wife preaching. He was admitting to the congregation his wrong doings with a woman. Actually, he was skirting around the issue of accepting responsibility. He pretty much blamed the kitchen sink. His wife took the microphone and … Continue reading Emotional Affairs – What’s the Big Deal
I posted the poem below on my Poems and Short Story blog but I thought I would reblog it here to talk about a few things.
1. For men, giving their bodies in sex or sexual related activities does not always have the same deep meaning as it does to women.
2. For women, if we haven’t given ourselves to someone who is the right guy, in the right relationship, for the right reasons, then we feel shame and can struggle with guilt.
3. Christianity emphasizes the idea of virginity and ‘purity’ for women but not at all for men. There are not many men who feel the need to become a born-again virgin because their sexual history is praised but for women it is the opposite. We have to constantly atone for our sexual behaviors.
4. As women, we do have to be mindful of our sexual behavior because it affects our self-image and self-esteem due to society’s pressure and views of women and sex. A guy can be a stud with many women but a woman is a slut with less than a handful of partners.
5. Women are taught that sex should always be coupled with marriage or a long term relationship and love. Men are told that sex is an important part of their masculinity and a needed commodity so, they should strive for it from women whether there is an emotional connection or not.
6. The messages about men and women’s bodies and sex are the polar opposite. While for men, the act is something to be proud of because it gives experience, but for women, its shameful because we are too free and we are not showing respect for ourselves.
7. The Bible is a Christian’s playbook and there is no disputing that it frowns upon sex before marriage. If we all followed that guideline, then everyone’s first sexual experience would be after the “I do” and then you figure out the mechanics from there.
8. However, that is not always the case for the majority. For women, the rules will always be more strict, whether we like it or not, we have internalized those rules and we still have to be mindful because sex for us is tightly linked to our emotions.
My body is a wonderland
not given to any man freely
It wasn’t made for high speed traffic
periodic or random visits
nor a ride at Disneyland
designed for your selfish pleasure
It was meant to be handled delicately
like the rarest treasure discovered
Peel away the layers
it houses the heart of its existence
more priceless than any metal
Pardon my foolish oversight
in letting down my boundaries
It’s all back in good order
If you want full exclusive access
then prove you can pay the price in full
with all that God intended
Yeah, I know, there should not be much to say but keep reading. I was bad 😈. I was all for the ‘I will save myself for marriage’ thing years ago until I honestly confessed to myself and God that ‘I don’t really buy into it.’ (Hold your stones). I still do support those who believe that no-sex before marriage … Continue reading Sex (lack of) and the Single Christian☺️
Being an older woman and single is not an easy feat. You have to suffer through "do you have a man yet?" by every one and their mother every time they see you. Everyone is "praying for you" because your love life is not swinging. Of course, people want to set you up because they believe your life … Continue reading Confession of An Older Single Woman
'If you like Piña Colada and getting caught in the rain...' Escape - by Rupert Holmes has been dubbed the Piña Colada song. It's a very catchy tune and great for dueling piano bar sing along. Recently, I was listening to the words more closely and it occurred to me that in this catchy tune, … Continue reading The Piña Colada Song and Creating Relationship Escapes
You meet someone and you spent time together. After repeated interactions, you find yourself having feelings. You find that you have a connection which is different from with other people. You find yourself smiling more, feeling more emotionally hurt when certain things are done and said from that person, and you find yourself being more invested in his/her wellbeing. … Continue reading How Do You Know If It Is Love
"Sex without emotional connection is like dancing without music" - Dr. Sue Johnson. See interview here. I was scrolling through social media and this tidbit popped up. It was a short interview clip but I got her point and I could not agree more. Long gone are the days when sex was believed to just be for procreation. … Continue reading Sex Without Emotional Connection
When most people hear the words sexual addiction or sex addict, they either make jokes or do not believe there is such a thing. Over the years, a few celebrities like Tiger Woods and Jesse James came out claiming they are addicts after being caught cheating on their wives. They went to a rehab program … Continue reading Sex Addict – The Quiet Addiction
Can you remember: The first time you met someone and there it was - that butterfly feeling in your stomach? The night you find yourself smiling at the memory of a person who was doing something mundane? The moment you glanced over at the person and your mind went wild with wonderful possibilities? When your heart flip flopped from … Continue reading Where Is My Lover?
Society had long conditioned men to separate sex from love and that strategy was a guarded secret not known to women. Even though the sexual revolution gave women the freedom to partake of that strategy, we are still behind on the sexual freedom curve. Only a few women can truly engage in strictly sex behaviors without equating it with love or … Continue reading Sex Does Not Equal Love