Don't get your hopes up 🙂 I haven't been on a date in ages... dinosaur ages I say. ... and I am okay with it. Is there something wrong with me? Nahhh. Bless you men and women out there who have the stamina to go on dates after dates and constantly meeting new people and … Continue reading Dating Anxiety
Who do you call family? Are they a mixture of blood relatives and friends? Did you have to walk away from blood and create your own family? Sometimes you are forced to walk away from those around you - no phone calls, texts or meet up because they add nothing but drama and heartache. The … Continue reading Blood or Family
Photo credit: Pixabay.com; Artist: sasint Dear Married People, These are a few thoughts from your single friends who are not miserable. Let me be free to live the life I have chosen. Let me do what’s in my best interest. Sometimes, some of us were in a crappy situation and now are happy to just … Continue reading Dear Married People
Everyone walks around with some form of a mask. However, there are those whose deep core was damaged severely. This makes it hard for them to truly love someone or accept love. No matter how much you show that you are in their corner, they never allow themselves to trust you completely. Photo credit: Pixabay.com; … Continue reading Too Damaged for Love
Photo credit: Pixabay.com; Artist: pixel2013 I saw a video circulating a while ago of a pastor and his wife preaching. He was admitting to the congregation his wrong doings with a woman. Actually, he was skirting around the issue of accepting responsibility. He pretty much blamed the kitchen sink. His wife took the microphone and … Continue reading Emotional Affairs – What’s the Big Deal
Recently, I found myself very angry. Red hot poker angry at someone. I was at home stewing and marinating on why 'you' made me angry. After hours, sleep and more ruminating, I could not stop feeling all these emotions - betrayed, disappointment, used etc. I felt so justified. I felt like a victim. Right before … Continue reading Boundaries – Disappointing Self
I posted the poem below on my Poems and Short Story blog but I thought I would reblog it here to talk about a few things.
1. For men, giving their bodies in sex or sexual related activities does not always have the same deep meaning as it does to women.
2. For women, if we haven’t given ourselves to someone who is the right guy, in the right relationship, for the right reasons, then we feel shame and can struggle with guilt.
3. Christianity emphasizes the idea of virginity and ‘purity’ for women but not at all for men. There are not many men who feel the need to become a born-again virgin because their sexual history is praised but for women it is the opposite. We have to constantly atone for our sexual behaviors.
4. As women, we do have to be mindful of our sexual behavior because it affects our self-image and self-esteem due to society’s pressure and views of women and sex. A guy can be a stud with many women but a woman is a slut with less than a handful of partners.
5. Women are taught that sex should always be coupled with marriage or a long term relationship and love. Men are told that sex is an important part of their masculinity and a needed commodity so, they should strive for it from women whether there is an emotional connection or not.
6. The messages about men and women’s bodies and sex are the polar opposite. While for men, the act is something to be proud of because it gives experience, but for women, its shameful because we are too free and we are not showing respect for ourselves.
7. The Bible is a Christian’s playbook and there is no disputing that it frowns upon sex before marriage. If we all followed that guideline, then everyone’s first sexual experience would be after the “I do” and then you figure out the mechanics from there.
8. However, that is not always the case for the majority. For women, the rules will always be more strict, whether we like it or not, we have internalized those rules and we still have to be mindful because sex for us is tightly linked to our emotions.
My body is a wonderland
not given to any man freely
It wasn’t made for high speed traffic
periodic or random visits
nor a ride at Disneyland
designed for your selfish pleasure
It was meant to be handled delicately
like the rarest treasure discovered
Peel away the layers
it houses the heart of its existence
more priceless than any metal
Pardon my foolish oversight
in letting down my boundaries
It’s all back in good order
If you want full exclusive access
then prove you can pay the price in full
with all that God intended
The quickest way to resolve a problem is to blame someone else. Photo credit: Google search No? You don't agree? I was reading an IG post that talked about watching your tongue and something hit me. I had to immediately take responsibility for being the little devil when it comes to talking bad about someone. … Continue reading I Am The Problem
Some days are hard to get up. It's even more difficult to get dressed and get out. It is not necessarily depression because there is no sadness but a pitfall lack of motivation and a heap load of fatigue. There is not much juice left in the mind and body except to be lethargic and … Continue reading Getting Up & Out Difficulties
I think the words "picky" and "choosy" are more frequently and negatively applied to single women trying to find a mate than to our male counterparts. Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com The Basics of Women No matter how independent women are, they truly appreciate men who know how to lead. Do not confuse leadership with … Continue reading Be Picky