Photo credit: Pixabay.com; Artist: sasint Dear Married People, These are a few thoughts from your single friends who are not miserable. Let me be free to live the life I have chosen. Let me do what’s in my best interest. Sometimes, some of us were in a crappy situation and now are happy to just … Continue reading Dear Married People
Everyone walks around with some form of a mask. However, there are those whose deep core was damaged severely. This makes it hard for them to truly love someone or accept love. No matter how much you show that you are in their corner, they never allow themselves to trust you completely. Photo credit: Pixabay.com; … Continue reading Too Damaged for Love
Photo credit: Pixabay.com; Artist: pixel2013 I saw a video circulating a while ago of a pastor and his wife preaching. He was admitting to the congregation his wrong doings with a woman. Actually, he was skirting around the issue of accepting responsibility. He pretty much blamed the kitchen sink. His wife took the microphone and … Continue reading Emotional Affairs – What’s the Big Deal
Recently, I found myself very angry. Red hot poker angry at someone. I was at home stewing and marinating on why 'you' made me angry. After hours, sleep and more ruminating, I could not stop feeling all these emotions - betrayed, disappointment, used etc. I felt so justified. I felt like a victim. Right before … Continue reading Boundaries – Disappointing Self
I posted the poem below on my Poems and Short Story blog but I thought I would reblog it here to talk about a few things.
1. For men, giving their bodies in sex or sexual related activities does not always have the same deep meaning as it does to women.
2. For women, if we haven’t given ourselves to someone who is the right guy, in the right relationship, for the right reasons, then we feel shame and can struggle with guilt.
3. Christianity emphasizes the idea of virginity and ‘purity’ for women but not at all for men. There are not many men who feel the need to become a born-again virgin because their sexual history is praised but for women it is the opposite. We have to constantly atone for our sexual behaviors.
4. As women, we do have to be mindful of our sexual behavior because it affects our self-image and self-esteem due to society’s pressure and views of women and sex. A guy can be a stud with many women but a woman is a slut with less than a handful of partners.
5. Women are taught that sex should always be coupled with marriage or a long term relationship and love. Men are told that sex is an important part of their masculinity and a needed commodity so, they should strive for it from women whether there is an emotional connection or not.
6. The messages about men and women’s bodies and sex are the polar opposite. While for men, the act is something to be proud of because it gives experience, but for women, its shameful because we are too free and we are not showing respect for ourselves.
7. The Bible is a Christian’s playbook and there is no disputing that it frowns upon sex before marriage. If we all followed that guideline, then everyone’s first sexual experience would be after the “I do” and then you figure out the mechanics from there.
8. However, that is not always the case for the majority. For women, the rules will always be more strict, whether we like it or not, we have internalized those rules and we still have to be mindful because sex for us is tightly linked to our emotions.
My body is a wonderland
not given to any man freely
It wasn’t made for high speed traffic
periodic or random visits
nor a ride at Disneyland
designed for your selfish pleasure
It was meant to be handled delicately
like the rarest treasure discovered
Peel away the layers
it houses the heart of its existence
more priceless than any metal
Pardon my foolish oversight
in letting down my boundaries
It’s all back in good order
If you want full exclusive access
then prove you can pay the price in full
with all that God intended
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The truth requires a look into the darkest depths of our souls. It requires us to be raw and to lower the barriers in order to reveal the slow decay within.
So I recently bumped into a blog in which the writer is very open and explicit about her personal life. I admire such ability to bare all whether in person or online. One of the things that is a struggle for her is being in love with two people - the ex and the intended … Continue reading On the Mind Dominates the Heart